K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
