i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
