he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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