what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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