3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize