She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There's always time for handjobs
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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