I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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