That's intense
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
