I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i've created a new STD.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize