from now on my penis is your penis
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
