Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
