We're like a lot better than the average bears
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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