3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
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