I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
