Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
