I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize
