p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
