sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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