Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize