We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
