I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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