I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
