He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
