So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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