I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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