Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
false alarm, still single
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