how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
