Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
