Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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