I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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