Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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