I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
