Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
