let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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