Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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