I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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