I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
