So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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