i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
