He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We're too hungover to prance.
Pants are for mortals
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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