Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
