fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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