For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
