Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
