at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
