well I can't set my house on fire every night
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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