I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
