is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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