Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
