its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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