this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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