i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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