I'm really into asian looking animals
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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