At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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