Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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