ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
