I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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