Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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