Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
