i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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