Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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