I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
This toilet bowl is my home.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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