I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
