ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
