I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize