I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She's just so happy...and so naked.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
