i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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