it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
