Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize