so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The power of my boobs compel you
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
