I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You can't special order awesome
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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