I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
where am i from again
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
