I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
